Ok Pukes here you go!

September 10-12

Well to start with the last 3 days spent in London, were amazing and tiring to say the least. It was full of seeing interesting things, and meeting interesting people.

Day 2

I woke up that morning and was all set to go and see the sights. The night before I picked up the Sandman free walking tour guide, and made it a point to figure out my destinations. The first tour was set up to see the royal side of London, and I was very excited. I will be the first person to say navigating the tube stations in London is just like navigating through the busiest stations in New York, with hundreds of people pushing and pulling their way in, needless to say I stood out like a sore thumb. Asking directions I made my way to the platform, and exited the station. I found myself in the middle of this immense park aka Hyde Park, it was right next to the Wellington Arch, parallel to Buckingham palace. I sat down by the statue of Wellington, and waited. A guy from Korea sat down next to me, he spoke very bad English, but I worked out he was on the same tour as me. Little by little more people showed up, until there were over a hundred. I met people from Florida, Colorado, Germany, Sweden, Australia, new Zealand, and many others. I mainly hung out with the people from Colorado and a dude from Florida.

We visited all the usual monuments, Buckingham Palace, Wellington arch, westminster Abby, Trafalgar square, house of Parliament, the prime minister's pad, lots statues, gardens, more statues and still more gardens... . it was incredible! We finished up the tour with the tour guide using me as an example of being hung drawn and quartered, I was the life of the show, especially since I handed out my testicles to the group, and raised my voice as if I just had them removed. After we finished, the guy from florida, (God I am bad with names, Dave was always the one who could remember names) well anyway we decided to go see MI6, the London Secret Service, where a couple of the James Bond films were made. When we got there it was starting to look overcast, and the couple from Colorado, had tagged along, so the thinkable happened, it rained! And yes, I forgot my cover for my Ipad, and had no jacket. We split up, Florida with me the couple bailed in their North Face Gear. We made it to a sandwich shop, near Westminster Abby, and hung there until it stopped. I got some plastic wrap from the server and wrapped my iPad, I was ready to go back out in the rain. So guess what happened, it stopped raining, stupid me! After deciding not to wait to go into Westminster Abby, because the tour was in 2 hours, we walked back to buckingham palace, took more pics, and walked through the park where they keep the pelicans, in which a funny story was told to me, hummmm. Yes , the pelicans live down the way from buckingham palace, they were once part of a zoo that one of the earlier kings had started, well when that changed later, the pelicans were all that was left. They didn't have many fish in the pond, and they wondered how they survived, well come to find out, the pelicans will lie on the ground, play dead, until a pigeon came by and they lap it up and swallow it whole, cool story, ya I guess you have to be there. Anyway, Florida and I split up, he went to some famous bone yard, and I got on the tube and went to Madame Tussauds wax museum. After changing trains twice, I made it there, and let me say it wasn't cheap. It was just like I remembered, except a lot of new celebrities. I took a few pics, and had a couple taken as well, nothing to memorable, but it did bring back good memories of being a kid on that ride they have inside. Anyway, I was floored, I hopped the tube again, and made it back to the hotel, dropped my shit off, grabbed a bite to eat, and crashed.

Day 3
Well I woke up and made my way downstairs, for the shitty continental breakfast, I even found a ling black hair in my jam. Anyway, I wanted to see the museums, and also go on the old English History tour, so my day was really full. Hopping the tube, I made it to the Museum of Natural History, the walk had to be a mile underground, so it was really hot and muggy. Once I surfaced, I made it I side the museum. It wasn't very packed, but still enough people and kids to get in my way, on my tour. I am not going to bore you with the things I saw, and there were some really cool things, I will however tell you about the meal I ate. I thought I would have a proper breakfast, so quiche was in order, well dear friends, I will tell you this was the worst meal I have had in London, dear lord! Cold quiche, with some kind of potato and dill, was horrid. I forced myself to eat 3 or 4 bites, and holding back the vomit, I told the porter that it sucked, that it should be served warm, he looked at me funny (which I expected) and I left. I made my way down to the tube again, walked another mile or so, and ended up at the science museum. I am not going to bore you here, you can see the pics online. It was far more interesting to go there then the other museum, but both were amazing and so big, it could take a month to see it all, I did them both in 4 hours. Back down the tube, to Covent Garden station, and was ready for my tour. I was about 1 1/2 hours early, so I made it to another restaurant, french of course, had a hankering for it. I ordered escargot, and baguette with meat, it was lovely. The only bad experience was the iced tea. I guess the English nor the grinch, oops I mean French do iced tea. Mine tasted like nail polish remover, with fifteen wedges of lemon, folks I just started getting feeling back in my tongue now. Well after that, I headed to one of the main shopping areas, kinda like a swop meet in Vegas, but cooler, with better products and better food. Yes I know all you do here is eat, drink, walk, drink, drink walk, screw and fall down. Well I haven't screwed and fallen down yet, but the others come in a bit. The tour guides showed up, and we all got together and talked about where we were going. Our guide was Patrick, a 20 something Irishman, with a serious case of ticks. He was extremely knowledgable, and was cool. We hit St. Paul's, the Knights Templar church which I would like to share an amazing story: back in the day when the Templars were brought around, mainly for protecting rich dignitaries, and their money, well anyhow, they decided that they would build Templar churches all around, and have people put their money in these churches, and they would give slips to the depositors. Well kids this is how banking started, so every time you go and make a deposit, you can thank the knights Templar. Well after seeing tons of other things, again the pics will tell the tale, we ended up at the Tower of London, which was freaking amazing!

I do hope you know I was drinking in between each of these places, just FYI, hence the forgetting of names, and some details that I am leaving out do to a foggy mind.

After pooping on the tube, (ha ha) I made it back in just under an hour, which by rail is long, imagine how far I walked, are you imagining it, no really are you? Ok well I got back and decided I wanted a hamburger for dinner, so I went to this hamburger joint, and ordered a crazy avocado, and Stilton cheese burger, and rings. It was the size of a small continent, and I was shocked that it could be that big. Funny aside folks, every single person in that restaurant ate their burger with a fork and knife, just like me, I really felt civilization at that moment began there, lol, it was a treat to see it happen, you all should try it sometime! Well after another pint I headed back to my room, and drooled myself to sleep.

Day 4
Well this day stands out, almost as the one I just had, but that will be another blog, but I will post the pics tonight, yes I have fallen behind, and I am a bit buzzed right now, but what better way to talk about a trip, then when you are buzzed. Short and sweet, traveling with other tourists is a blast, I guess that is why people stay in hostels, so they have something in common with other folk. Yes I went against the grain and stayed in hotels, and yes it was harder meeting people, but I like my privacy, nuff said (Stan Lee)! I got up early in the day to catch the bus to Victoria Coach Station (God I am so full right now, indian food in Wales) and again I was a fish out of the pond, sucking for air. I ended up finding my bus, (interesting note, ask yourself how many people have been in a bus station with pigeons flying around inside, better yet, nesting in the columns, just a question). Anyway, we got on the bus, and I won't bore you with the details, but I met some great people, a great girl from Canada, a couple from Australia, who called me son, a guy named Paul (ya I remembered) who sat next to me, and the guide and bus driver, we all got along. We went to Windsor Castle, Stone Henge, and Bath, all were amazing. I took this trip to see Stone Henge, I have climbed the pyramids in Egypt, I have climbed the pyramids with Dave in Central America, and Stone Henge was a huge thing for me. Windsor was great, and Bath was truly amazing. I want to live there, the people were snooty, like Vegas, but the land, trees, architecture, all of it stood out for me, I loved it. Very Very Very expensive to live here, so I better come up with something to make some money, lol. Ok skipping ahead, tour over, got back to the hotel, and wanted fish and chips, ok! Pub across the street! I walked in and sat down, and I was met by a super hot girl from Corsica, Lucy (ya I remembered) we talked a bit, I ordered my food, beer and shots of Jameson. I went out for a smoke, and started talking to a couple, one from France and the dude from South Africa, we hit it off perfectly. After a few rounds, we kept smoking, and I met a dude from Canada, a base player, he has played Vegas, and worked with a lot of famous people, we hit it off as well. We finished drinking, and went to this 18 something club, let me say it reminded me of clubs 3 or 4 years ago, but no problem, we didn't stay long. We went out for a smoke and South Africa had to run an errand, hummmm, and Mr. Canada just bailed, he was smashed. I was left alone, trying to explain to a 50 something that it was ok to go into the club, to let go the young shit and have fun. I went home drooling, and crashed out, fabulous night.

Day 4
Not a lot going on today friends, other than it's a Sunday, and I am tired. I woke up early, went down had that shitty breakfast again, packed all my shit, and tried to catch a car for hire to take me to Euston Rail station, no cabs for me, greedy bastards! I changed some money again, and found a driver from Africa, who incidentally should be driving for NASCAR.

Is it me or does everyone drive crazy here, Souza can tell you I drive crazy, but compared to this crazy stuntman, I was white-knuckling it! I made it to the station, and hopped a train to Manchester. When I got off the train I hand 4 Minutes to get to my connecting train in Chester... . Aside, I am on the train, and I can see the Irish sea, mother Fucker is it beautiful! I feel alive right now!!!! Ok back to the story, I met a couple on the train to Chester, they were from Spain, and were obviously in love, holding hands kissing and such. He was a IT guy moving to Chester to learn English and she was in retail visiting him, can ya say long distance relationship and it's time to get some, I know I can. Well by this time, my bladder was full, and I hadn't had a smoke for 3+ hours, so I was jouncing something fierce. We pulled up in Chester, with urine running down my leg, I said goodbye to my Spanish friends, and made my way, yep you figured it out, not the bathroom, but out front to have a smoke, ya I know I have screwed priorities. After the smokes I pissed, and made it to the toilet. The train loaded and we are on are way to Hollyhead... . more to come.